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Marriage Strengthening Tip #18: Decision Making Should Be a Team Sport

Marriage Strengthening Tip #18: Decision Making Should Be a Team Sport

How you make decisions with your spouse is a really big deal.  Just think about all of the factors that can complicate it: differences in opinion, gender, personality, background, priorities, and as much as anything, preferences!  A marriage where both spouses have all identical preferences exists only on Pluto--oops, I mean "dwarf planet" as it was recently renamed.  (BTW, I disagreed with that decision).  I am convinced that most conflicts in marriages revolve around decision making.  First of all, with that many complicating factors at play, flexibility may be the most coveted attitude and skill you can develop to minimize conflict in marital decision making.  At the heart of a willingness for the decision to not have to conform to your thinking is obedience to such biblical instruction as being considerate and submissive (from James 3:17, describing "the wisdom that is from above") and in humility valuing others above yourself (Philippians 2:3).  Adopt those kinds of attitudes on the front-end of any decision being made mutually and you will be much more likely to arrive at a decision well informed by both of your perspectives.  Perhaps most importantly, a decision that is "ours", not "mine".

Think about it--all those years you were single, you based most all of your decisions exclusively on what you thought.  The opportunity to do that ended, or should have ended, about 3 seconds after you said "I do".  Consider doing one of our marriage mentorship programs to help you learn this skillful art.

Paul Spasic

Director,

Marriage Mentors