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Marriage Strengthening Tip #16: Do You Disagree, Argue, or Fight?, Part 4

Marriage Strengthening Tip #16: Do You Disagree, Argue, or Fight?, Part 4

Now to the very core of the secret as to how you can actually disagree respectfully as opposed to fighting.  Here is a guideline my wife and I utilize, and we find that it takes a lot of hard work to apply it.  Heads-up, you will likely have the motivation to apply it only if you take scriptures like this seriously: Do nothing from factional motives--through contentiousness, strife, selfishness, or unworthy ends--or promoted by conceit or empty arrogance.  Instead, in the true spirit of humility (lowliness of mind) let each regard the others as better than and superior to himself--thinking more highly of one another than you do of yourselves.  Philippians 2:3, Amplified Bible.  If you are serious about ending the business of fighting with your spouse--there it is.  Think more highly of your spouse than you do of yourself.  Perfer her/him over yourself.

Once you shift to an attitude of heart that is "in the true spirit of humility", you are able to value something more than being right.  Which is more important?  Being "right" in that disagreement, or being loving?  You end up in a position of "right information, wrong spirit".  The position you want to be in is: "I think I have the right information, but I definitely want to have the right spirit".  Check out Part 5, the last in this blog series.  

Paul Spasic

Director,

Marriage Mentors