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Marriage Strengthening Tip #14, Do You Disagree, Argue, or Fight?, Part 2

Marriage Strengthening Tip #14, Do You Disagree, Argue, or Fight?, Part 2

Want to know what will get a marital disagreement off to a bad start from the git-go?  Blame.  It's "as old as Adam", or Eve.  Adam blamed that first rebellious sin on his wife; she blamed it on the devil.  I don't know if there is research showing what percentage of all marital arguing starts with a desire to blame one's spouse, but I wouldn't be surprised if it is somewhere in the ninety percentile range.  The primary problem with doing it (are you ready for this profundity?) is that it doesn't  work.  Only a dead possum on the road will not automatically respond to blame with, you guessed it--blame.  

Here's the thing: as soon as you tell your spouse in a judgemental/unloving manner what they are doing wrong, you just hijacked the only method that does work for informing them of their sin--the conviction of the Holy Spirit, Now, respectfully confronting, with good timing, is an all together different thing.  That indeed can be effective, but your chances of getting away with doing it even that way while frequently defaulting to blame, are slim.  Think about it; and read the rest of the blogs in this series.

Paul Spasic

Director,

Marriage Mentors